


Fly on Your Own

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Rare Ships Creation Challenge [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical major character death, M/M, Purgatory, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7662496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean asks him to go, Benny knows that staying in Purgatory is the right choice for him.  That doesn't make it an easy one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fly on Your Own

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Rare Ships Creation Challenge.
> 
> Prompt: Castiel/Benny Lafitte, "Angel" by Theory of a Deadman

“When Dean Winchester asks for a favor, he don’t think small.” It was for Sam. He knew that was the only reason Dean would ask. For Benny, of course, it solved a lot of problems. Humans in Purgatory were trouble magnets all on their own, and Sam didn’t much like him, so he could probably convince Sam to leave him behind to fight off anything covering their escape easily enough.

In Purgatory, he’d wanted nothing more to get out. Now that he was out, though, he was realizing he didn’t belong here. No place with the vampires anymore, no place among the humans that were such temptations… up here, the only real friend he had was an angel. And as much as he loved him, Cas was better off without him.

“Give me a minute. Got something I need to take care of real quick.” Benny went to his car and recorded a couple of messages. He came back out and nodded to Dean. “Let’s do this.” Benny couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes, but he could smile. Not even forced. Things would be right, soon.

 

Benny wasn’t sure where he’d end up in Purgatory. If dying in that spot guaranteed he’d arrive where he was supposed to. It worked, though, as he appeared right beside Sam. Recognized him, of course. Didn’t recognize the old guy with him, the one that was so cranky about Dean having a vampire friend. Didn’t matter. Bobby was hitching a ride with Sam anyway, so he didn’t have to convince the old man to leave him.

When they got close, Sam did the ritual to get Bobby into his arm. He held the knife out to Benny. Benny shook his head. “I don’t belong down there, Sam. You know that as well as I do. Tell Dean whatever you want, but do me a favor?”

Sam shook his head. “Do it yourself. I’m not leaving you.”

“Dean’s waiting on you, you can’t take me if I don’t wanna go. Sam, you an’ me started on the wrong foot and never quite found the right one. Let’s change that. I was plannin’ on asking Dean or Cas to kill me anyway, send me back here. Least with them I knew they’d do it clean an’ take care of business after. So when Dean asked me to come get you, it was just an excuse to actually make him go through with it. Dean’ll miss me, but he’ll get over it. It’s Cas I’m worried about.”

Sam sighed. “I’m worried about him too. He’s in the wind, hiding from Heaven, Hell, and us. I wish I knew why.”

“Sam, I’m countin’ on you here. Take care of Cas for me. When you get back, before you an’ Dean burn my bones, get my cell phone. There’s a message on there for Cas, an’ one for Dean. Don’t want your brother thinkin’ you left me behind just because you could.”

“Benny… I’m sorry. I’ll make sure Cas and Dean get their messages.” Sam dove through the portal, and Benny relaxed. He was home. Where he belonged.

 

Dean’s anger was expected. Cas knew Dean would be angry. Sam’s instant forgiveness was also somewhat expected. Always appreciated, never taken for granted, but forgiveness was a core part of what made Sam who he was.

Dean had gone on a supply run, so Sam was sitting with Castiel. Cas wasn’t quite sure who was supposed to be babysitting who. Sam was badly weakened by the Trials. But he forced a smile for Cas as he offered him a phone. “This was Benny’s. Benny’s… he wanted to go back to Purgatory, so when Dean asked him to get me out after the second Trial, he stayed behind instead of letting me bring him back. He left you a message.”

Castiel reached for the phone, tears coming to his eyes. Sam left him alone to listen to the message, promising that he was just going to lie down in his room, get some rest. Cas pressed play.

“Cher. By now one of the boys has told you I’m in Purgatory. Don’t be mad at Dean for sendin’ me or Sam for leavin’ me. Sam needed help I could provide, you know Dean wouldn’t ever’a done anything else. An’ Sam only left me because I told him I wasn’t goin’ back. I belong here, in Purgatory. I didn’t get that ‘til I left.

“I miss you already and I ain’t even gone, yet. Always will miss you. Can’t believe I fought so hard to leave you here, because I sure changed my tune on that one. You don’t belong here, cher. I know you think you do. I’m in love with the only angel I ever heard of that was afraid of the light. Travelin’ through here with you, best time I’ve ever had.

“Don’t come after me. You got work to do out there. Move on. Find someone who can be the soldier you need at your side, the one who can support you and help you survive all the crap you end up dealin’ with. Because it’s not me. I was fightin’ so hard against my own problems that I didn’t have anything to give you. When you were here and I thought I could hack it out there, things were good, but your world can’t be my world and my world ain’t where you belong. I love you, but it’s time I let you go, cher. Don’t let the fight go out o’ your eyes.”

Cas held the phone tightly. Loving a vampire had never been part of his plan. He was the worst angel ever, probably. Part of him wanted to go straight to Purgatory. Even if he couldn’t bring Benny out, he could stay there. But Benny was right. He didn’t belong there. He belonged out here, dealing with the messes he’d made. He dropped the phone into a pocket and went to make sure Sam hadn’t lied to him and really was taking care of himself. He didn’t need to lose anyone else. Not today.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always welcome!


End file.
